Sometimes, I fight with a painting. I have been painting for enough time now to have a history with paintings that I fight with. My first major fight was with with the painting pictured below:

“Untitled Yellow” 24x24”, in private collection.

I painted this painting somewhere around 2012.. I was painting it for entry into a juried exhibition at San Diego Art Institute in Balboa Park.. I had placed the pressure on myself to enter one original painting for a full calendar year at SDAI…there was a different juror every show, and it was the first time I had entered anywhere. My goal was one painting into every show that year…and the deal I had with myself was that if I failed to get into a show, I would start again the following year and try for another perfect year. What’s the matter with me?? 😂 Anyway, I did it. The pressure was terrible…but I did it. This piece won Juror’s Choice (Best in Show). The professor was very complimentary.. I was really happy.

Fast forward that same year to another fight.. “The Score”:

During the time I was painting, “The Score”, a family member said some really terrible things to me.. It was an insane, ridiculous argument. My head was not clear, and I was having a lot of trouble moving the paint…re-working and working on this (spatial constraints in my studio have never afforded me the luxury of spreading out and working on 10 paintings at once..I’m lucky to be able to fit two paintings at a time in here.) This painting too won Jurors Choice at a different exhibition. I started to feel that I might be on to something…

Fast forward a few years now…I’ll leave out the fights between “The Score” and “Circus Act”.. But “Circus Act” is a class sample for my new online workshop. While painting “Expressionism Vol 2”, I decided to go rogue..unscripted…I wanted to paint in the most organic way possible and capture all of that energy on film. The goal was to paint 4 paintings for the workshop and hope for the best.. Usually, I plan out every small detail for a workshop and the samples do not clearly reflect my usual painting style.

“Circus Act” 20x20” 2019 - Sold - San Pedro, CA

I can across a new tube of Cadmium Orange and really let loose on this one. The resulting painting had many transformations over several days.. I started to recognize “the fight” and the ensuing obsession with this one. I took pictures of it in various stages and carried it around with me, studying it every chance I could get. I showed it to moms at tennis… I showed it to everyone who happened by. “Hey- what do you think about this?” And although these poor souls couldn’t offer me any painting advice, I studied their expressions…I absorbed their energy… I dreamed about this painting.

When the painting was finished, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. It’s hard to explain…but you know what? This painting sold within 3 days of it being in my store inventory. I am shipping it out today.

So….what’s the moral of the story? The struggle is real. There are paintings that seem to come together super fast…others eat your soul…they take every ounce of energy out of your body for a couple weeks… But those paintings? Those are the paintings I am looking forward to most.

For information on my newest online expressionism painting workshop and to see me paint this piece during class, please click here.

Thanks for stopping by!

Sometimes, It is a Circus Act