Hey- there was nothing wrong with me yesterday…honestly. I am not in a downward spiral and sitting here wallowing in sorrow all day. I think you may have misinterpreted yesterday’s message. The truth is that I just didn’t have anything to say. That’s all! If something is wrong, I’ll let you know.

I was reading magazines yesterday looking for images to transfer onto various projects and thought that maybe I would interview myself…. a creative exercise using the voices that sound off in my head to express my inner thoughts. This will be a several part series…however chatty I feel will determine how many installments. Here goes:

Interviewer: So what brings you here today?

Julie: I live here.

Interviewer: No…I mean what brings you to the interview today?

Julie: Oh... I don’t think people get me.

Interviewer: What’s to get?

Julie: Well….not much really…people keep telling me that they think I am interesting and they think I have all this neat stuff to say…truth is I don’t see “it”.

Interviewer: What do you mean, “It”?

Julie: You know…”it”. I don’t have anything interesting to say.

Interviewer: I think you’re interesting.

Julie: Don’t start with me.

Interviewer: Do you always have an interviewer’s voice in your head?

Julie: Sometimes. I mean…I wrangle with the thought of always having to explain myself.

Interviewer: Why is that?

Julie: I am not sure. I’ll blame it on catholic school. I went there for 8 years.

Interviewer: Did you get good grades?

Julie: Of course. I was terrified of failing.

Interviewer: I see. A lot of people feel that way.

Julie: Is this a therapy session?

Interviewer: Probably….you just don’t know it yet.

Julie: Oh. More people should interview themselves then.

Interviewer: Why is that?

Julie: Who in the hell knows….where is this going?

Interviewer: Tell me about your art journal.

Julie: Ok. I am making my second art journal now. I have already finished 20 of the 80 pages. Things are moving pretty quickly.

Interviewer: What do you attribute the speedy progress to?

Julie: My own boredom.

Interviewer: You’re bored?

Julie: Are you?

Interviewer: You can’t answer my question with another question.

Julie: This is a little crazy.

Interviewer: I don’t think so. Why are you bored?

Julie: I think I have been in the housing market too long. My friends ask me why I am not in a house already. The truth is that I am searching for the perfect house. I want to spend many years in this house…it is where my daughter will grow up. I hate moving. Therefore, everything must be just right.

Interviewer:  Nothing wrong with that.

Julie: Exactly. I think so many people these days settle for a quick fix. I am very analytical.

Interviewer: Why are you so analytical?

Julie: Catholic school.

Interviewer:  I see. When do you anticipate being out of your apartment?

Julie: Probably within 4 months or so. There are some things in the pipeline.

Interviewer: Are you going to continue to stay home and make art once you move?

Julie: Of course. I would never dream of leaving my child in daycare or with a nanny. I like to have a feeling of control.

Interviewer: Why is that?

Julie: Catholic school.

Interviewer: I am starting to see a pattern here.

Julie: With what?

Interviewer: Never mind. What do these one word journal pages mean? What about the pages with depressing messages?

Julie: They don’t mean a freaking thing. Listen, I am only going to say this once…this topic really struck a chord the other day. My journaling is not a cry for help, it’s not a sign of depression, and it certainly is nothing to be taken seriously. It’s not so that the viewers of my art can label me or help me out.

Interviewer: You sound serious here.

Julie: I am. You know….I am trying really hard to make progress with painting. I am spending a lot of time selecting colors and working on adding depth and texture to each page. After I finish with the painting, I have a serious bond with the page already…this happens well before the journaling concept even enters my pea brain….

Interviewer: ..Go on…

Julie: Don’t interrupt me, pal. I was saying…I feel an emotional attachment after I paint each page. The journaling that pops into my head tends to therefore also be emotional. I am not talking about romantic type of emotions…I am talking about powerful words and shocking statements. That’s my mood. No way a heartfelt, cute message or a bunny or kitty would have “fit” on the red page today.

Interviewer: At least in your mind….

Julie: Right.

Interviewer: I don’t see anything wrong with that.

Julie: Thanks.

Interviewer: You’re welcome. So, am I correct in assuming that this journal is more graphic than your last journal?

Julie: Indeed. The last journal, Color Binge, was full of aged paper pages, and deep thought question type of pages. As my painting style continues to develop, my journaling is changing as well.

Interviewer: What is the inspiration for your pages?

Julie: I can’t say.

Interviewer: Why not?

Julie: I mean…it’s not that I don’t want to say…I just don’t have any one place that inspiration comes from. I think the inspiration for the journaling comes from the paint…and the paint inspiration comes from whatever color pops into my head. I can probably pretty safely say that I don’t have a plan for anything once I start something…I just like to see where things go.

Interviewer: Tell me about your blog.

Julie: What about it?

Interviewer: Do you like blogging?

(to be continued…..)